Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
