porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
