i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
