We won't sleep together?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
