he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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