I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
