i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
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If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
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you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You ate ashes out of my bong
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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