like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
