she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
