Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
