What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
