Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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