yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
