As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
