he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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