I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
