would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
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How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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