i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
