Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize