Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
