with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
