I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
