oh god the rape fog is back!
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
