Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
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