i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
