You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
