Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
