Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
