Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
honey bunches of taint.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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