Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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