I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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