Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
