If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
