she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
