You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
