I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
