do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
