i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
