Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
