I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
