I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
