It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Is her dick bigger than yours?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
