I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's never too late to be topless.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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