Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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