Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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