My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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