Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
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ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
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I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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