Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
