She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
