Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
