I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
