I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
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He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
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Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
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