They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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