OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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