Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
