She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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