some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
