I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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