none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
