Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
