Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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