So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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