I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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