hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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