brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
