I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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