oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
