I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
