Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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