sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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