She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
