Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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